If your child is in a public school they will most likely be taught some type of sex education by the 5th or 6th grade. Even if they are not, they will find out about it from somebody at this age or earlier. If their information comes from friends or peers at school, it will probably not presented in a serious and appropriate way, and will many times be incorrect. The best place for a young person to find out and learn about sex should be from the ones that care about them the most: their parents.
1) Start Early
The average age for teens to have sex for the first time is 15 for girls and 14 for boys. It is not completely uncommon for public schools to have one or more pregnant seventh graders. Addressing the topic of sex with your teen should happen much earlier than many parents would think. While it may depend on the culture they are in, I strongly suggest having some serious conversations with your child at least by the age of thirteen. If your child is asking questions or hearing things at an earlier age, you may need to address the issue to some degree.
Some parents wait until their teens are already dating or in a long term relationship to even bring the issue up. While I know the parents' intentions are good, they are very often too late. I believe a parent should start letting their teenager know about sexual standards very early on. Even though caution must be used, it is better to be too early than too late. It is best to help a young person prevent mistakes than to help them try to fix sexual mistakes later on.
2) Go gradually
Although it may sound strange, the best strategy is to avoid "the talk" about sex. This conversation tends to be too fast, and the teen is often too uncomfortable to ask questions. Addressing sexual issues should be a progression. The conversation should not be a passing dramatic thunderstorm, but a slow drizzling rain. Give your teen time to soak it in. Use one conversation as a starting point, but don't feel obligated to tell them everything that you know or be overly graphic. Bring issues up in regular conversation.
3) Be intentional
Look for strategic points in daily living to affirm or disaffirm sexual decisions. Keep in mind that you will have to be intentional about addressing sex, or it may not ever be given the quality time and thought that it needs.
4) Use a framework
When our daughter turned 13, we went through a book on purity with her over the course of 4 weeks. This time allowed for high quality conversation to arise, and it gave her the chance to think of questions that she might have and ask them over the course of the month. By the end of the month, communicating about sex was a lot less awkward than it was at the beginning, and now she knew that she could talk to us anytime about serious issues like this.
There are a many teen centered sex information resources out there for you. Try to find something that covers more than just the biology and read through it before you hand it to them. It's important to talk to your teen about the significance of sex and share your values.
Teens need to be well informed about sex before they risk experiencing sexual situation. By giving an open atmosphere for questions, continuing to talk them about it, and making a point to educate him or her, your teen will be well prepared for the situations present in middle, high, and junior high schools.
1) Start Early
The average age for teens to have sex for the first time is 15 for girls and 14 for boys. It is not completely uncommon for public schools to have one or more pregnant seventh graders. Addressing the topic of sex with your teen should happen much earlier than many parents would think. While it may depend on the culture they are in, I strongly suggest having some serious conversations with your child at least by the age of thirteen. If your child is asking questions or hearing things at an earlier age, you may need to address the issue to some degree.
Some parents wait until their teens are already dating or in a long term relationship to even bring the issue up. While I know the parents' intentions are good, they are very often too late. I believe a parent should start letting their teenager know about sexual standards very early on. Even though caution must be used, it is better to be too early than too late. It is best to help a young person prevent mistakes than to help them try to fix sexual mistakes later on.
2) Go gradually
Although it may sound strange, the best strategy is to avoid "the talk" about sex. This conversation tends to be too fast, and the teen is often too uncomfortable to ask questions. Addressing sexual issues should be a progression. The conversation should not be a passing dramatic thunderstorm, but a slow drizzling rain. Give your teen time to soak it in. Use one conversation as a starting point, but don't feel obligated to tell them everything that you know or be overly graphic. Bring issues up in regular conversation.
3) Be intentional
Look for strategic points in daily living to affirm or disaffirm sexual decisions. Keep in mind that you will have to be intentional about addressing sex, or it may not ever be given the quality time and thought that it needs.
4) Use a framework
When our daughter turned 13, we went through a book on purity with her over the course of 4 weeks. This time allowed for high quality conversation to arise, and it gave her the chance to think of questions that she might have and ask them over the course of the month. By the end of the month, communicating about sex was a lot less awkward than it was at the beginning, and now she knew that she could talk to us anytime about serious issues like this.
There are a many teen centered sex information resources out there for you. Try to find something that covers more than just the biology and read through it before you hand it to them. It's important to talk to your teen about the significance of sex and share your values.
Teens need to be well informed about sex before they risk experiencing sexual situation. By giving an open atmosphere for questions, continuing to talk them about it, and making a point to educate him or her, your teen will be well prepared for the situations present in middle, high, and junior high schools.
Talking to Teens About Sex - When and How is Best?
Reviewed by Ray Combes
Published :
Rating : 4.5
Published :
Rating : 4.5
